Behind the pitching mound in San Diego, he had traced his baby daughter's initials in the dirt for inspiration. Annabelle Walters died of heart complications on April 2, 2009 at age 51 days.
The article by Derrick Goold in today's Post Dispatch was definitely worthy of the refrigerator door.
We all think of Spring Training as playtime. But, I can't even imagine what the most recent "Grapefruit League" season must have been like for Walters. As the Goold article details, Walters called the hospital every morning to determine whether it was OK for him to go to the ballpark and train that day. Or should he return home to Alabama? Annabelle was in bad shape, even then. In fact, her doctors didn't expect she'd last long after birth.
Walters always had a getaway plan in the back of his mind...just in case. As a matter of routine, he would check airline schedules home to Mobile from wherever he happened to be. What must he have been thinking and feeling every morning when he dialed that hospital number? That uncertainty, coupled with the pressure to perform on the field, had to be overwhelming! He thought he had his bases covered, until one night the phone rang and the message was not good. "Get home, as soon as possible." He knew the next flight wasn't until morning, so he drove through the night, 640 miles to Mobile. Fortunately, he was able to spend two weeks with his daughter before she died.
The Derrick Goold article chronicles those long dark nights when Walters knew there as nothing left to do, other than hold her, talk to her, read her stories and give her love for the short time she had left on this Earth. Throughout the night, at all odd hours, he'd get text messages from Cardinal teammate Mitchell Boggs to give him encouragement. It is hard to not be a P.J. Walters fan, or a Mitchell Boggs fan after reading that.
Cardinal pitcher Trever Miller too! He often called Walters to talk and, more importantly, listen. He also has a young daughter with heart problems.
Finally, on April 2, Annabelle died. Now, less than two months later, Walters is up in the big leagues and is a starter in the Cardinal rotation, with Brad Penney and Kyle Lohse sidelined with injuries. It should be a time for celebration for a guy like Walters; his first big league win and a chance to stick in the starting rotation. But he takes with him everywhere a framed photo of his daughter sleeping next to her teddy bear. He keeps it in his locker.
It is a touching story. A heartbreaking story. An inspiring story. One that I'm deriving wisdom from in this long goodbye to my father. "Whatever time you're allowed," Trever Miller said, "make it the most quality time you can."
I think we all realize that on some level, but it is so hard to do in the moment. And so easy to feel sorry for oneself. "Why me?" And, in my case, "What about my career?" P.J. Walters addressed that very issue in the article:
I've learned to focus on the things that are important to me at that moment, and not the things that might be important in ten years...moreso, it's take advantage of right now. Right now, I'm a big leaguer. Tomorrow, who knows what's going to happen? I could twist my ankle stepping off a curb. You have to enjoy it while you've got it."
Excellent wisdom from the Cardinal bullpen. It is going up on the Kelvinator.
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